A Renaissance
Let’s pretend for a moment it hasn’t been two and a half years since my last blog post. In that case, the list of drafts I have would be real and go as follows:
Writer’s Block
Virtual Theatre (I feel like a robot)
A Midsummer Night’s Stroll
What’s a new degree?
So, School is Hard
No title
PROOF
A Global Pampelmousse
In Fair Verona
A Renaissance
I actually wrote each and every one of these posts and just… never posted them. They have sat in my drafts for two years. I would open them, add to them, subtract from them, save them, close out, and repeat—all without ever pressing share.
Can you imagine?
Let’s keep pretending that I had finished and shared those posts. I would have talked about my struggles with writing, that I was creatively stunted, and failing to write a play I was really passionate about. Then you would even know about all the virtual theatre I was doing in the summer of 2020, and how hard it was to act at a screen—though many of you who will read this will know from your own experience!
Tory Thomas on the left there, being glorious in A Midsummer Night’s Stroll
Oh, then there was my first live performance in 2020 with Poor Monsters and St. Louis Shakespeare Festival with A Midsummer Night’s Stroll! Working on this with Poor Monsters after the COVID hiatus was amazing in so many ways. Performing once more helped throw things back into perspective for me by making me feel like I was productive again.
I suppose I also would have shared that I had gone back to school at the end of 2020. Instead I waited to tell people for almost a year.
And my way of announcing it, finally? A Facebook post. I hadn’t even told my uncle.
Maybe not my best move.
This photo is from the draft of “So, School is Hard.” Look at LeaLou-so cute, so pure, and so has no idea what’s going on.
For those who don’t know, I’m currently in a coordinated program for Nutrition and Dietetics at Fontbonne University to become a Registered Dietetic Nutritionist—more on that later. It’s been a wonderful and challenging ride, and I’m coming up on the final leg of the journey, and I’m looking forward to sharing it with you.
To be honest, I’m not 100% sure why I was so private about this choice for so long.
Yet, somehow, I’m glad I kept it quiet for as long as I did. It allowed me to celebrate with those closest to me on a more personal level.
All through this change I was still writing or at least I was trying to.
If I’d ever deigned to title the blog draft that is still sitting there with ‘no title’ as the saved name, it would have been somewhere along the lines of, “I’m sorry I disappeared from the blog but life, ‘ya know?” Or perhaps, “Wow, writing is hard.” Or maybe even, “Hi, I’m Summer, and I forgot I had a blog.”
All terrible titles.
You can see why I kept putting it off when that was the best I had.
Finding time to give the Couch Retrospective what it deserved felt like an incredibly daunting task—one I procrastinated on.
As school, work, theatre, and life started to pick back up, finding the balance proved to be an even bigger challenge. Thus, writing fell further down my to do list.
While juggling it all, one of my dream roles landed in my life — Catherine in Proof.
I can’t express my love and gratitude for this show and team enough. I was challenged every rehearsal and surrounded by people who were so supportive of me every step of the way. I could gush, but for now I’ll leave you with these photos by Philip Hamer:
Julie Amuedo as Claire
Michael James Reed as Robert
Oliver Bacus as Hal
Ah yes, the most ridiculous of titles, “A Global Pampelmousse.”
This draft is the shortest entry in my list of attempted blog posts.
I had sat to write it, but instead spent the time rereading my first blog posts. I saw how optimistic I was, and I wanted to relish in that optimism. The draft quickly became a laundry list of jokes—let’s just say some drafts aren’t meant to be shared, this may have been one of those.
Though, the joke of replacing the word pandemic with like-sounding words is a joke I will always find funny.
Lastly, I would have written about my time in Italy. I was lucky to have traveled and studied there for three weeks in May 2022. I learned so much, and I wish I could have brought all my friends and family along with me. I’m hopeful to write about this experience in the future as it relates to me and my journey as a dietitian. Meanwhile, enjoy this picture of my first day in Verona.
(Thanks for this photo, Mom.)
So, why am I telling you about all the blog posts I started and never finished?
I felt like if I chose to start writing the Couch Retrospective again it would be wrong to not catch you up on what has happened with me these two years. I think it’s the same reason I toiled over those posts; I felt like they had to hold up to having taken such a long hiatus.
I have no reason as to why it’s been so long or why I didn’t share what I wrote other than it didn’t serve me at the time. I simply wasn’t ready to share, yet.
If I’ve learned anything these past years, it’s that it’s okay to say no. While I may not have been blogging, I was certainly still thinking about it.
Now, I know that this blog may be small with only a handful of subscribers. I know my biggest supporters are my mom and my boyfriend’s mom (moms are truly great). I also know that the people who take the time to read this probably couldn’t care less that I have taken such a long break.
The last thing I want to do is to say exactly what The Couch Retrospective is, or will become. I think that’s the beauty of blogging. It is whatever it needs to be.
So, let’s enter a Couch Retrospective Renaissance. I don’t know what this will become, and I don’t care. I’m just glad it’s back.
A list of Gratitudes (in no particular order)
LeaLou - she turned 7 this year, how rude
Ice’s Plain and Fancy - a godsend for my sweet tooth
The feeling when you successfully save a dying plant
My family, both immediate and found
Pasta
The first bite of a strawberry
(almost) 5 years with my favorite person
St. Louis
Tower Grove Park
Those who read this <3
(too cheesy?)
